no way A friend of mine once turned down a date with a kind, funny, clever man because he didn’t like his shoes. When she relayed this to our group of twenty-somethings, no comment or discussion was necessary. Because it was a rational decision for all of us to make. I mean, come on – a trainer can’t date someone who sucks, right?
Fortunately for the continuation of humanity, dating today seems a little less demanding. A recent report on relationships on the dating app Plenty of Fish showed that not only are mentions of shoes failing, but important conversation topics like life goals and deal breakers are now brought up straight away as people want to skip the small talk stage.
“What we’re seeing in 2026 is a real shift in mindset,” reports Eva Gallagher, PR Manager at PoF. “Singles have a clearer sense of purpose.”
This is a good start, but if you really want to know if you’re a good fit for being together long-term, there are some topics you need to talk about from the beginning. These are really This will be a much more effective dating app search filter than age and hobbies.
For example, how long does it take for the plane to arrive at the airport? This problem is rarely resolved in the early stages. And that doesn’t include the brief break during the honeymoon phase, when all the quirkiness is lovely. If it was brought up on a first date, there wouldn’t be a clearly seething couple making too many "shame on us if we can’t sit together on the plane” jokes at check-in, and probably no one would be happier about it than them.
Many people question whether their star signs are compatible, but their approach has absolutely nothing to do with how they should react when the movie they went to see turns out to be terrible. this is much more important, Unless you want to argue for the rest of your life through mime and hissing. So are you the team that says life is too short to watch terrible movies, or the team that will pay to survive until the bitter end? Choose wisely: they do not mix.
Food can be a relationship red zone beyond the relentless hell of deciding what to have for dinner every night. “Do you come here often?” – A much better pick-up line is “What’s your Sainsbury’s style?” If Party A prefers supermarket technology that means the checkout camera footage is blurry and sparkly, and Party B enjoys a leisurely stroll down each aisle perusing every product on sale, this could be disastrous.
So, even if you’re together long enough to go shopping and get home, do you agree with how strictly you stick to food expiration dates? As the fairly new saying goes, one partner’s unforgivable extravagance is another partner’s attempt at food poisoning. Other issues on which you may need to clarify your position include when to put up and take down Christmas decorations, and the level of annoyance when speaking in another room.
All these little details seem trivial and insignificant compared to your epic love when you meet, but as the anniversary passes by, you’ll find yourself muttering under your breath in an endless loop. Then one day, the mere mention of the airport will immediately give you a murderous feeling. It’s as if someone heard the trigger sound and was hypnotized.
But the disappointing truth is that even if you tackle all of these deal breakers head on, there’s nothing you can do to future-proof your relationship with the wildcard. Although I had the richest and most honest conversation with my husband of 15 years when I met him for the second time, it is still highly unlikely that he would have revealed his embarrassing stance on buying hot drinks outside the house.
For this seemingly ordinary man, the image of him holding a take-out cup stands out. When you brag that you don’t have time for coffee, you’re sending an unbearably condescending message to the world. In his eyes, you should leave the kettle on before you leave the house, or just wait until you return. This is a hill he is absolutely willing to die on. If he is panting for water in the desert and water is readily available in a cardboard container, he will use his last remaining energy to crawl around with his nose in the air. Somehow we’ve been arguing for almost 20 years about how ridiculous this is. I’m glad his trainer is kind.
Polly Hudson is a freelance writer.