I I was proud of a calm and adventurous attitude. I traveled alone, jumped off the plane and had full experience with other adrenaline. But something changed when I was about 27 years old. I began to worry about everyday things like going to the supermarket or driving. I was worried about the interactions with people and the hundreds of “what if” situations that can happen when I go out.
I have been suffering from depression for over 10 years. It comes in waves: At one moment I feel better and then fall to me after days, weeks, months. But in the last four years, anxiety has appeared more recently.
Before anxiety subsided, a friend engaged in mental health said that people with panic attacks could worsen by avoiding worry. The circle that feels safe is getting smaller and trapped in it. Since then, I have promised to face things that scare me no matter how bad my anxiety is.
This is why I started cycling the track. On a fixed gear bike without brakes, the sound of riding a velodrome is adjacent to others. It doesn't sound like a clear tactic to calm the mind and reduce anxiety, but for almost three years I've been doing it and found that there's a big difference in mood and outlook after each session.
I loved watching the Trophy, Eleanor Barker, Katie Archibald, and Joanna Lowsel Shand win the Team GB medal at the 2016 Rio Olympics. They looked so strong and scared.
Not long after the end of the Olympics, I was in Dorset to visit my parents when I saw a Team GB tasting day ad. After looking for events nearby, I found the Full Wheeler Cycling Club during the introductory track session in Bournemouth Velodrome.
Caring for it was not difficult but it was to build up nerves to try it. Being an adult among fearless children, I wondered if I had to stand in the middle of the track and leave. 15-year-old Lucy Gadd, captain of the club's woman, now convinced him to ride a bike with the encouragement of a professional cyclist. I immediately liked it: it was refreshing. At first, I found the steep banking of the tracks a bit surprising, but ultimately I felt liberated.
When he returned to London, he discovered Herne Hill Velodrome, one of the oldest bicycle tracks in the world, and signed induction. I stayed in a female session for two hours and was so drawn.
People often ask if track cycling is scary, but in reality it is not. I was adequately careful at first and threatened by experienced riders who have flew in the past, but once I build my confidence, I can meditate strangely.
Because you ride bikes at high speed, you are close to each other, so you need to focus and focus on the moment. Even on days when your head is clean and crowded, you can focus on something else. Off the bustling main road, Herne Hill Velodrome is an unexpectedly peaceful haven. As it is an outdoor activity, pedaling all year round changes the season. There are wonderful sunsets on summer evenings, and the leaves begin to fall off, and in the fall they like crisp, cool air.
It may be a fast and thrilling sport, but I feel protected in Velodrome. I've been riding a bike on the road, but I'm having a hard time especially on an uneasy day. On the track you don't have to worry about cars, pedestrians or dogs along the way. Yes, it can be dangerous, but you can also drive. I have never had any accidents and am surrounded by a team of friendly and professional coaches and riders.
Returning to Bournemouth Velodrome in 2016, I did not expect to regularly participate in women's track cycling or racing, but I was stimulated by Herne Hill's passionate and welcoming group. We race, stop, talk, eat cake, ride our bikes.
My anxiety hasn't gone completely, including riding a bike – there are times when you have to do it yourself, remembering the ability to ride a bike and the feeling of running around the track. It gives me the confidence boost I need.
It also helped with depression. In addition to the positive effects of physical activity, I found a supportive and friendly community in Velodrome that smiles on my face and does not have a positive feeling. It is truly like a form of treatment and I feel old and adventurous again.
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