Letter to a friend sharing autism success story | Life and style

aOnce a week for the past five years, good friends have sent “success stories” about children or adults with autism. I often read similar stories in the media. They always inspire with an explanation of how people do not let autism define or detain them. In each story, I was sad and angry.

It's unbelievable to show autism in mainstream media, but it's always shiny. The child is a musical genius or after years of frustration, an adult has completed a law degree. These will have to be celebrated, but it will be more difficult for a family like mine to accept to the public. The explanation “Oh, he's autism” sounds like an excuse because people didn't see the other side of the spectrum.

They have not seen nonverbal children, people who do not understand the words you speak, children who scream and growl for hours until the end, children who need locks on all doors and windows, children who still need strollers and bridles. We are going to go outside. They haven't seen kids who daily attack their parents and their beloved parents because they have had some minor changes in their routines and can't find a way to handle them.

My house has both ends of the spectrum. Each has its own challenges and fun. We love children unconditionally but are isolated by themselves and are often excluded from the so-called “autism friendly sessions” in the play area. They do not meet the autism we know. The accessible version is to slightly dim the lights and lower the music when playing the game. Our version has no escape route and up to three other children exist.

We can't meet these requirements, but there's nothing more lonely than reading about “autism friendly” places and knowing that it's still not right for you. If the other end of the spectrum is portrayed more honestly, we believe that the world will adapt and try new things.

One time I want to see a story congratulating a child who says "drink" without screaming for two hours. This is our success idea.

Now we have a small voice for millions of happy people.

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