teaSun was told this week that male police wanted to talk about theft. Clearly, many people pointed out on social media that the gentleman in question is similar to me. I feel sorry for him a bit. I am not widely judged to look like me and think it is uncomfortable to be someone you want. The guy caught in CCTV in Blackpool last year was deprived of some alcohol and looked like David Schwimmer. This special master criminal must be really hurt to look very little like me.
People often see me from other people. It can be quite confusing to all involved. Classically I will be outside the football field or in another crowded place. Someone will come to me and tell you that you have a friend who sees “my image”. At this point, a picture is made or more than once the Doppelganger is taken and starts to view. Always the same. He will be much heavier in my eyes, more plump in face and generally not more attractive. And worse, you will see his eyes and understand that he is thinking exactly the same about me. We will take pictures together, walk around and never meet again.
And there is a Ray Mears problem. Like my terrible look, I often think of him wrong. “Oh” someone will say. “I like your program.”
“Why thank you.”
Then they talk about eating bugs, barks, bears, etc., and the mind sinks. Many times I have signed Ray Mears myself. I did not want to be disappointed. I once asked if he was wrong with me and asked about West Brom or anything else.
“No,” he shouted in peace.
• Adrian Chiles is a writer, broadcaster and guardian columnist.